I - MEMORY

 

I – memory

I saw myself wandering aimlessly through the streets of my mind, to the point where I got lost within myself. Being aware of such a situation is overwhelming and exhausting, just that I do not feel it in my body but rather in my soul which helplessly decays and squirms in pain. I still seem to be unable to fathom the existence of this cagey feeling of loss which envelops everything around, like an ivy trying to extend its reach to everything it can touch, perhaps with the aim of smothering anything around.

I extend my arm as if trying to reach you, to sense you or even feel the touch of your silky skin, yet all I can find is emptiness, as if I have been taken away into the void. So, I return to my mind and once again I get lost. Perhaps that reality is much more merciful and forgiving than being broken into pieces just by not knowing where you are.

I am barely able to remember the last time my eyes contemplated your extraordinary self with that rainy auburn hair of yours and that pair of piercing green eyes. Though I yet seem to recollect pieces of memories which I try desperately to put back together and every time I do so, I can sense tears trickling down my face and all I do is lay there, motionless while I try to convince myself that it is all a figment of my imagination or that nothing of the kind has taken place.

I therefore, put out the candle which struggles to illuminate my habitation, casting a sad, dim light and as I do so, I simply do not recognize myself in the mirror. It is a different person the one I see there, someone who I just ignore and slowly I wrapped myself warmly and take refuge in the labyrinth of my mind, and once again… I just… get lost within myself.