INNER PEACE

Have you ever felt that inner peace while being in the eye of the storm? It's kinda weird, isn't it? 

I mean, sometimes I wonder why I feel so calm even though I am up to the neck with tons of things going on in my life and yet still I couldn't figure out the answer. But I guess it has to do with something stronger than me, than my inner will. Of course, I am not consciously ruling out my own will power, although I feel there's something more than just that.

I'd never been a traditional believer, but I've always known that God somehow, someway, has been a part of my life ever since I can remember. I guess it basically comes down to the influence of my relatives and close friends. I even remember, just as I am typing these lines, a time when my dearest aunt woke me up really early on Christmas Day or so, in order to attend mass at the local church which was just a couple of blocks away from my grandmother's home. I remember there was some singing and the that the church was warm inside  and all lit up by candles. It was a nice feeling, as if I was protected inside a cocoon and that feeling of peace was just a beautiful thing to experience at such a young age.

So, yes, one way or the other God has been in my life. Just a few years ago, I was going through a difficult time in my life and the despair was so overwhelming I couln't even sleep a wink and could barely function. Til one day I just simply broke down, I felt I couldn't take it anymore and in that moment I went down on my knees, crying, feeling so overpowered by misery that I couldn't even stand. I prayed to God, I begged and poured out my heart right then and there, I let Him know what I was going through and, as I mentioned, I begged for his help. 

From that moment on, I started praying and started changing my views on my life, on me as a person and life as a whole. Perhaps you're wondering whether I became a religious person right after. I'd say no. I became more aware of my existance and most importantly, about the existence of God himself. I believe that a lot for a lot of people, me included, explaining the existence of God is rather complicated simply because it is bed in a personal inner experience that cannot be proved by physical means. So based on that premise, I'd say that yes, God does exist and that he cares much more about that than you reckon.

While praying one of those evenings, I experience such a tranquility that I even marveled at the feeling of it, at the sensation, o abstract and yet attainable that I couldn't even understand it. I tried to analyse as if wanting to reason that I should've been worried and not at ease and yet still I couldn't make heads or tails out of it. So I just let myself go into that inner peace and tranquility I was feeling. Soon after, I decided to go to bed and got ready for it. 

What came after was one of the most beautiful things I have ever felt. I was praying in a dream, and i could hear a choir of soft and sweet voices around me praying along with me although I couldn't see them, suddenly I remember crystal clear water pouring down on me, and as it fell, I couldn't help but notice that it actually was sparkling luminously and the texture was remarkably different, as if it was made of silk. It wasn't simply like the regular water you and I drink, not even close to those fancy branded ones. While the coirof voices were still praying, along came a shower of crytal blue water, just with the same consistency and brightness and then golden water, with exactly the same properties I have already describe. I felt so relieved and overtaken by tranquility and peace that I even wished I didn't want it to stop. I wanted to be there, I didn't want to be back.

I still sometimes feel that tranquility despite my problems and I firmly believe there is a more powerful force behind it: GOD ALMIGHTY