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THE WORLD

the world

THE WORLD

I once wrote that if I stopped writing I would stop living or something like that. Nowadays, it is slightly complicated to gather my thoughts into logical sentences or to pour out my feelings into words. Lately it has been exhausting and overwhelming even to make simple decisions or to have a good night sleep, basically because of what is happening around the world and also because of trying to make out people’s reasons for making others suffer. I try to understand the nature of all disagreements, however the result becomes futile.

I just can’t seem to comprehend the language of what is going on, and of the people behind it. I just feel I don’t fit anywhere due to my lack of understanding or even worse: my lack of mundane experience! I mean, many people, friends and acquaintances know how to move and get around situations I have no clue of, or that they possess the right information in their heads to certain issues. And no, I wasn’t born yesterday, and no, am not mentally challenged.

I am pretty sure there’s people out there who regard many things in life as unimportant. Things like, purchasing a house, having things repaired or having a plan B, C or D. What wonders me is how easy it is for them to accomplish these tasks and not feel overshadowed by others or feel terrified by them. I suppose I am not like the others, the standard others… with their cars and houses, with their set of tools ready in case of a faulty faucet. No, I am totally the opposite, I have no plan B or C, I don’t know what to do in case of whatever! It is tiring to realize about this “defect” and above all, it is not so simple to deal with it.

I am irritated at what is going on now and I am awfully powerless to do anything about it, I cannot stop it and all I can do is to do my best at comforting others and yet still, I feel it isn’t enough, however, I absolutely refuse to abandon hope, to shove it away. That’d be the least I’d do.

I guess that in the meantime I’ll have to try to learn from others as much as I can so as to have a little more experience in this world that seems to be falling apart around me. I just also have to try to be level-headed and not to lose it… I mean, a few years ago, I’d have lost my mind right away seeing and witnessing all the decay around, however, fortunately, I’ve learnt better thanks to God. And it is because of Him that I don’t want to lose hope, I don’t want to give in to any desperation or shadowy omens…No! I will keep on doing my best for me and others who need me (or not even). Keep on goin’

 

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