PONDERING PASSIONS - by jrqc

I often ponder when I will be able to manage my emotions and passions. Not because they bother me, but mainly so I can exercise control over them. It's not a simple task, as many may claim, but rather complicated. I know I put pressure on myself to believe I can have control over them, but do I really? Am I on the right path to believing I can fully manage my anxiety, happiness, and anger when necessary? And in doing so, would I still consider myself human? Would others see me as someone whose nature includes having emotional power over myself and perhaps even others?

I wish I could have the right answers to these and countless other questions. It's terribly annoying not being able to fully grasp the meaning and purpose of oneself as an individual, not to mention myself as part of something bigger, something that might be even more significant in essence, understanding, and composition.

Many times I've allowed myself to be carried away by my feelings, and sometimes it can be rewarding. However, I must admit that at many other times, I am ashamed of them. For instance, I believe I am a calm and relaxed person, despite having a strong character that sometimes leads me to be thoughtless and blunt. This results in a sense of remorse when I lose my temper because something is affecting my peace of mind, leaving room to a sense of restriction of behavior. 

I am aware I must control my passions, since they do not necessarily contribute to something positive but rather the opposite. Sadness, and anger for instance are like  wild dogs that must either be controlled or put down, since the consequences of not doing so could be devastating, and forget about not to take care of the type of negative feelings and let them loose to roam free! Certainly we are part of a society which will not allow these emotions run wild. This is not anarchy, this is not a place where hatred roams around without eventually being punished and even vanquished.

Should one therefore set free positive notions and feelings and restrict the ones which are not regardless whether they are small or big ones? And if restrictions should be implemented, would they aid in the falsification of our personality?. If one is to set loose negative notions, feelings and passion that would carry a punishable negative impact, then yes, one must restrict and eliminate them since of course they are not acceptable. Evidently, one should hence, limit the flourishing of ill passions that could harm our character and personality, theoretically speaking that is. The cumbersome part is, of course, to implement an efficient course of action so as to achieve and master one's passions.